Dreams are good for night but what works wonder for you is actually day dreaming. YES! Every legend in the world was a day dreamer and day dreamers are known to have a vision which could not be seen by people who are awake but not dreaming big enough. When you have a dream big enough to scare you, you might feel temporary fear but that feeling you get when you take action anyhow no matter what, cannot be matched with any other feeling in the world. And when you have a dream, following things happen which help you get there fast.
Success comes with a focus. But focus in the wrong direction leads to frustration. And FOCUS in the right direction can lead to a career of your dreams. That’s what I preached around 25 students who were gathered for a Spoken English course. I visited them to deliver a lecture on “How to develop your Strengths and skills”. The 45 minutes interactive session was an energetic one with everyone actively involved in the exercises. Here’s a small glimpse in the below pic about the session.
Ask any average person what you want from life and they will say they want a big car, a luxurious bungalow and big shopping list. Ask a truly mature person who is happy with his/her life and they will answer, “I want to be happy”. The difference between these two is that the former will be more interested in material things whereas the latter do wish for more but are happy and fulfilled with their lives. And the main reason for the former category so much interested in things is also the reason for most of the people on the planet who are not happy with their lives and that is – COMPARISON.
Comparison with others is the single most important factor we are so eager to acquire material things. Lets imagine two scenarios to understand this idea better.
Suppose you are living on an island. You have all the basic necessities fulfilled but no luxuries. How would you react? Would you ever think of buying a great furniture or that great piece of painting unless it’s your passion? You would never because even if there people around you, all of them would be living with the minimum requirements. And moreover, you’ll be happy.
Now, imagine you come to live from an that island into a big city. You’ll see people buying branded clothes, using latest gadgets, driving latest cars. Slowly, you’ll think of an expensive alternative to what you are using. You don’t need it yet but you think that it’s cool to have that thing as everyone around is using.
But feeling the need of comparison for expensive things is not as bad as the comparison of non-material things. As for instance, people may compare their children to other children in the neighborhood, a father of a girl may start worrying about her daughter’s marriage if every girl around them gets married at her age, a young employee might compare himself to his co-workers who are earning more than them.
Even though everyone does it, it is not necessary that we should do the same if it makes us unhappy.
In short, it has become the routine of our society to ask, “Everyone’s doing it, so why aren’t we?” But it happens only in case of things that don’t play a bigger role in determining the happiness of your lives. No one asks such questions when they are unhappy with their lives that why are we doing it? Even though everyone does it, it is not necessary that we should do the same if it makes us unhappy.
Life is not a race. Everyone is thinking about themselves. So why are you thinking about them? Live your own life. Make your rules. If people think you are crazy, let them think. Nothing big is ever achieved by being normal.
So whenever you feel dissatisfied with your lives, feel grateful for what you have and ask yourself. “Am I comparing myself with anyone?”
“What to do want to be?” I often ask this question to people and the answers I get are very interesting. There is no fear in people when deciding what they want but problem arises when it comes to taking action. They freeze. They just don’t know what to do, where to begin or whom to ask for advice. So they stop. And slowly, they become habituated to not taking action. And when people hear advice about how they can become what they want to be, it is overloaded with information everywhere. This leads to lots of confusion. The main problem here is people needs simple solutions to their problems. Hence, they need something they can easily start with with very little effort. And the good news is that today, I have a tip for you to become what you want and that too a bit faster.
Act like you are already one.
Yes. It’s that simple. But wait, it’s not the only way, it’s one of the way to speed up the process. Let’s imagine two different scenarios to get better understanding.
First, Imagine yourself thinking everyday to become the person you want, daydreaming about that famous personality enjoying their lives. What happens? You focus on what they have and what you don’t. And the more you think of them, the less you think of yourselves.
Now the second one. Imagine that you already have what you want. What happens? You forget about other famous people and think that you have what you want. Plus, you act like them. Now your behavior changes totally as you have taken some responsibility, your attitude changes, the way you dress up changes. Even when you meet people, the way you talk is now according to the successful person you have imagined yourself to be right now and hence, people start looking at you differently.
One of the ways I have done is that I printed my business cards as if I am already successful. Then I met some of the people in that industry and I presented myself. They really admired the card and the way, I designed the card, I had to behave now accordingly with great respect and responsibility which i did and then I turned back to see how confidently I approached them when I had that newly designed business card.
The only way I increased my chances of getting ahead is simply by taking this simple step. So here’s my question to you. What do you want to be? Whatever it may be. Act like one.