An open letter to my friend.

This is an open letter to my friend whom I thought could give some advice on life. Although I could tell this to him directly, I thought it would be better if publish this letter on my blog so that my other friends can read it too and learn if it applies to them.
Dear friend,
It’s been years since we know each other and have spend some memorable moments which we will cherish throughout our life, there are few things I want to tell you before we part. Although we are going to be in the same city in future, but before we get back, I wanted to share with you few things about our lives. It just worries me that you are not much happy with your life and want to do something meaningful, and I have just perfect advice for you. Though I cannot call it perfect and I am not perfect either, I experienced these same problems years back but the way I have overcome those obstacles and living the life I am now proud of, I want to give you some teachings on life in a hope that you’ll apply and feel happy about your life again.
I see that you are continuously complaining that life is not like before and you want to do something, you want to quit, you want to get lean, you want to exercise, you want to enjoy life more but what steps are you taking daily in order to get there? Let me get this straight. Watching four hours of TV is not going to solve your problem in any manner. If at the end of day, you are not satisfied with the life you are living, it’s your responsibility to take steps towards what you want in the remaining time. And use your common sense dude, “Is TV going to help you in that?” get the answer yourself.
Another thing is the mental obstruction you face when you hear any useful advice. Leaving your comfort zone is the first thing you have to do if you want to achieve anything worth. When you hear an advice about not watching TV, your comfort zone pulls you toward itself and gives you 1000 reasons why you should stick to your TV.
You want to get lean but how much are you working towards your health. Are you paying attention to your health? You know sugar is bad for your health in the long run then for God’s sake start to minimize the intake slowly in your diet. And if you argue that you only take one full spoon sugar in your whole day, my friend, you eat sugar in a lot more ways you don’t even know. So don’t give me that reason. You are only fooling yourself because you can’t quit sugar. And sugar also helps you in aging. That’s good if you want to get older early. You can’t quit cigarette because you are addicted. But ask yourself, “Can I really do without a cigarette?” The answer is a big YES. Not all can live but most of them are living without a cigarette and you can too. You can’t live without water but you can surely live without a cigarette. And you can quit it to. You are not a five year old child. Right? As you cross 30, your metabolism will be not as it i now and it will be slower than before. All this effects will not be seen until then.
If you want to do something different than your current job, start taking that first small step in the direction of your dreams. Don’t wait for that year, one month or one week. That “SOMEDAY” will never come if you wait. TRUST ME on that.
Don’t give me the excuse that you are not ready for marriage yet. The truth is that you are scared. You are already 26. How much more time do you need? You are already earning enough. And that I am saying because you have found your soul mate. Then what are you waiting for? Sometimes, that thing from which we are running is the key to our success. Who knows that after getting married your life partner motivates or supports you in a way that you didn’t even imagine and that was the only push you needed? Nothing can be as awesome as this one. Don’t run away from marriage. It’s not a jail. It’s more of a freedom actually.
And believe me, there will be no shortcuts. It took me much determination and will power to live a life I had only imagined but if you think that living your life in this way is difficult for you and you are ready every time with an excuse, then for GOD’s sake stop complaining everyday and be happy and if you are not satisfied, then do something every day to get closer to your goals.
You can change your life or you can make excuses, but you can’t do both.

Good looks

We all know the importance of good looks and how they make us feel important. Of all the things we do in life, we give highest importance to our looks and the same has the least importance. Have we realised it yet? Of course not! I have seen many people ask me, “Do I look good in these clothes?” It’s nice that you care about being nice and for some occasions, you should definitely look good but when it comes to relaxing time such as going for the walk in evening or watching a movie with your friends or loved ones, we should focus more on our level of comfort rather than worrying about what everyone else will think of you. Most of the people don’t know you so it doesn’t matter. Few know you who don’t care whatever you wear. So why not enjoy your own company and have peace of mind. Also, constantly judging yourself for the sake of others is also a sign of low self confidence as it indicates that we are not confident enough to let others like us. Next time when you go outside for fun, be yourself. Go with the same pair of clothes you had inside your home and don’t comb your hair perfectly. Make yourself look less beautiful for you’ll attract right people.

Too much!

Too many projects, too many relatives, too many TV channels, too much gaming, too much chatting and too much expectations! Nothing is in moderate these days.

When was the last time you had at least something in moderate?

When was the last time you had to deal with fewer relatives because those who were, at least half of them were just there only to show others that they care?

When was the last time you saw only fewer channels or didn’t watch TV at all?

When was the last time you thought about ONLY your life and didn’t get along with too much gaming or chatting?

When was the last time you took social or self expectation very lightly and focused on ONLY your dreams?

Very rarely right? Every time it happened that you were either overloaded with expectations and were confused or you didn’t had any task at hand and you were confused this time too. But let’s be fair with this. If you keep on waiting for fewer expectations, it will hardly happen and it might happen if you keep on waiting for the rest of your life realizing that you have wasted all the precious time of your life when you could have made a difference. So the only way to deal with too much of anything is to let it be as it is. Set your priority according to what you want most in life and have enough courage to do only that task which resonates with your calling. Be ruthless with your expectations and not others expectations.

Complications

Life is simple and complicated too. It depends on us. When we think too much, it becomes complicated and when we think less and enjoy being in the present, it simple. But do we humans like to make our lives complicated? No one in this world makes his/her life complicated knowingly. It’s our circumstances that make our life complicated. But we don’t have much control over our circumstances. Do we? But we do have a control over how we react to our circumstances. I think part of what makes our life complicated is the social pressures to settle. Complete your education, get a job, get married and settle. Settle as soon as possible. Really? I mean is settling so important? I agree that you should but what about your dreams? What about the dreams of your partner? Sometimes, in this unnecessary urgency of settling, we forget our dreams or one of the partners has to let go his/her dreams. And that is exactly what happens these days. What’s the worst that could happen if they settle after few months of sorting out what they want to do with their lives? Why this unnecessary social burden? Why are we doing this? To show everyone that we can start a family too? Everyone has their own lives. But social comparison is the biggest hurdle we are facing right now in an educated society. In today’s educated and developed society, we think 1000 times become spending money on our new gadget but never spend a minute thinking about our dreams. Is this education all about? But regardless of what everyone thinks, no one can change people and their minds hence the best way to make our lives simple again is to let go of social pressure that is holding you back and be bold to ask for the life of your dreams. There is no time like now. Don’t worry about what others think you are. They were not going to help you anyway. So why worry about them? Go ahead and make a move. You were born to make a difference.

What once seemed Impossible!

Every once in a while, we all have a wish or dream inside us that seems impossible to accomplish when we first think of it. When we think of it, our mind says, ‘hey, that’s great, but you know you have to finish this task on hand first? Or something like this, ‘hey, that sounds interesting but you know many people have tried it before and you don’t have any experience in it. Why even try and waste time?’ But sometimes that dream is so strong that we can’t resist it even though we feel like giving up. That little voice constantly reminds us that something is missing and we need to work on it as soon as possible or else we’ll regret it. Same happened with me when I thought I’ll be writing a book someday. But it was after two long years of writing when I was about to publish my book that real problems began. I couldn’t find anyone who would guide me where should I send my book for review. Of all my friends, hardly anyone liked reading and the couple of them who liked reading, didn’t even respond to my manuscript after I sent them. So I reviewed it myself and any other guidance if needed, I took from Chris Guillebeau, who is the author of $100 start-up. Finally realising that there was no option left, I decided to take the risk and self publish it. And within a month, the book was in my hands. I felt tremendously proud of myself that in spite of many things on which I would cry, I decided to take the road less travelled and finally became an author.
The other incident happened when I was desperately looking for the job. Earlier, I didn’t like to prepare for the interviews and when I would sit in front of the interviewer, I used to answer like a dumb employee who didn’t even know why he was giving the interview. No matter how desperate I was to change my job, I just couldn’t prepare for the interview. The task just felt impossible. This happened two times and I was rejected both times. It struck me then that if I want to change my environment and my city along with the best possibilities in future, I need to work hard and make that happen. No one is going to do that for me. When I sat for the first round of interview, I answered some questions in a brilliant way I didn’t even imagine. The little preparation gave me enough confidence to tackle all types of questions. It was at this time that my heart whispered to me that you are going to make it this time. But my mind interrupted with fear and doubt. But I decided to pay attention to my heart. And during further interviews, my level of awareness was at its peak. The moment interviewer asked the questions, I was ready with the answer. And this time, I was selected on my own without any referrals or contacts.
In both the cases, what once seemed impossible was achieved after many struggles and constant battles between the mind and heart. When something feels right, your heart will always exclude all the limitations while the mind will counter all the limitations why it can’t happen. It is therefore necessary that we learn to recognize what our heart says and think of only one reason why it would happen instead of all reasons why it won’t.